Currently Poetry & Aeroplanes By Teitur see related

Though He Slay Me...

Sometimes, God brings events into our lives that change us.  Some happy, some profound, while others are heartbreaking.  Recently, several young couples I'm very close to, have had miscarriages in their pregnancies.  One of the miscarriages came early on, within the first trimester, and though it was an abrupt pregnancy, that doesn't remove the sorrow.  This couple has been in mourning over the loss of their child, and I've been trying to pray for them, being smitten of heart about it myself.

The second untimely death was in the lives of a young couple who are also extremely God-fearing and selfless.  They however, were only one week away from their baby's due date.  One week.  Think about that.  They'd picked out the name(his name was Lemuel), they'd gotten all the shower gifts, clothes, diapers.  Perhaps they'd even repainted the nursery.  All of that ended with the words, "we can't find a heartbeat" during a cold, heartless ultra-sound.  I don't know, I guess I've always been one who sympathized with those who'd lost children this way, but this time it hit me in the gut and hard.  My child is only 10 weeks old.  Why is he fine, while their babies are dead?  I can't answer that, but I'm not obligated to.  I'm just obliged to trust.  This world is a wonderful place, but it is also a broken one.  Sometimes God seems close enough to touch, and sometimes you wonder where He is.  I know, as the Psalmist says, that God is indeed near to the broken-hearted, and I trust He has been with these people. 

For example, He lovingly moved through the Presbytery's diaconate to negotiate the hospital rates, and pay for it themselves on behalf of this couple.  If that wasn't enough, the parents found a cemetery that offers a free casket, service, and burial to the families that have gone through this.  I know that right now it must seem no large comfort, but at least they won't be financially burdened by all this.  God, we are so alone without you.  Mankind by nature shrieks til their last breath for you to leave them alone...I'm so glad you don't listen.  I'm so glad, you drag us, kicking and screaming to a friendship with you, and to life abundant here and beyond.  Please help these young parents who lost their children, and me and my family as well, to trust you in our walks that one day we may have the joy of meeting these two children at last.  For we know that no one who dies in you is ever lost.  No.  Not one of your precious children ever falls through the cracks.

Christe Eleison

Currently Vampire Hunter D - Bloodlust By Hideyuki Tanaka, Ichirô Nagai, Kôichi Yamadera, Megumi Hayashibara, Emi Shinohara see related

Random Thoughts on Fatherhood

Well well, it seems nearly 2 months have gone by since my last update.  I suppose we can chalk that one up to the newest little Blevins, or "doodle noodle" as my wife calls him, arriving not long ago.  For those who aren't aware of the details, my wife went into labor on September 6th, and delivered him safely at home on September 7th....Labor day.  Oooh, the lifelong jokes the boy must now go through are painful to think about.

It's funny how the reality of a baby hits people differently at different times.  For instance, minutes after my son was born and they'd cleaned him off, they handed him to me, wrapped in a towel and crying his little head off.  My very first thought was, "Aw, hey little guy, you look scared, let's go and help you find your family." Zoing!  "Wait a second," I thought, "I am your family.  Ohhhh." :) 

Now, I haven't slept much the last 6 weeks, but I expected that.  What I didn't expect was how little time I'd have during the day.  It has taken nearly two months for us to find a real routine again, or even something resembling one.  If he wakes up, it takes us anywhere from 5 to 45 minutes to get him sleeping again.  Then there are the feedings that we are courageously trying to space out to respectable 4 hour intervals.  I know what you parents are thinkin, "Good luck with that!"  Gee, thanks guys.

Honestly, looking at him it's amazing to think that he's my future, the future of my lifeline, my family, myself...To grasp that he is an extension of myself is wonderful, but far too mind boggling to wrap my head around.  So, for now, I'm just satisfied knowing that he's mine and he is a gift from Jesus.  I hope each of you know the joys I have known with your kids, or kids to come.  Lastly for kicks, here are a few shots of the little stinker, James Davis Blevins.

James, on the day he was born.

In a happy mood.

Pimpin his new hat.

Daddy needs a nap.

Next time, guys.  Peace.

Reunion

*Hears the echo of his own footsteps in the hollow halls of his own Xanga* 

Well well...this familiar place.  Yes, I know it all too well.  Like a man, visiting the boyhood home he moved away from years before.  Comforting, yet bittersweet as it brings back all the liveliest and most cherished memories of a time in his life that feels like a dream.

Yes, I must say...that after nearly 18 months away from this old blog, I miss it.  I've missed it for a long time.  The whole template and default settings have been completely changed, and it took me nearly an entire 10 minutes to even figure out how to make a new post on this site.  Yet, looking back on blogging days within a Facebooking world, I can say with total confidence...the return here is worth it.  I've always been fond of Xanga, as the medium has allowed me to express some very geniune thoughts, even if they're not very important ones.  Yes, Xanga...my old friend...my new resolution is to write within your corridors at least bimonthly.  There are many things now happening in my own life(the imminent birth of my first-born son, for example) that only you can do justice to.  A simply 'updated status, or wall post' are an insult to such events, I believe. 

I have no delusions of reliving the glory days when all my friends were also regularly writing posts(80% of my friends, I find upon returning, have deleted their accounts).  Still, I relish the chance to remain more true to myself as I get to do that which enlivens my soul as few other activities can: writing.  And so...without further inadequate excuses, I do return to lay the stones of my thoughts into a coherent stretch of road that hopefully will allow myself and others to better know who I am, and where I am going.  Xanga, I hereby write this post as an olive branch to make my peace with you.  Is it too late?  Can we not still harken back to days of more personal reflection and intimate conversation?  Only time will tell, but if actions do speak for themselves, then let this post be a good place to start.  

Yours Truly,

Nathan Blevins

Currently Listening Not Too Late By Norah Jones see related

Recently I went back to good ole Tinseltown

to check out a picture that hasn’t set any box office records, but nonetheless has received serious attention from the film critics. In fact, I knew little about it, having seen only one trailer for Sweeney Todd in theatres. I figured though that a 19^th century musical set in London with an all-star cast always has potential, doesn’t it? I wasn’t sure what to expect, but knowing that Tim Burton and Johnny Depp had joined forces again, I had anticipated something dark and sinister.

Let’s just say I wasn’t disappointed in that regard. Now, Burton has made some pretty dark films to date(Edward Scissorhands, Legend of Sleepy Hollow, and Planet of the Apes come to mind), but let me tell you right now: this is his darkest. In fact, I don’t foresee him ever making anything darker or more disturbing than this movie.

The premise is rather reminiscent of the “Count of Monte Cristo”: a young barber, with a beautiful wife and lovely baby, was framed by a public official and sent off to prison to rot while the official stole his family. The difference between Sweeney Todd and Edmond Dantes though, is how they dealt with the betrayal. Dantes simply became hardened toward the men who wronged him, but Sweeney turned his hatred toward all mankind. That’s what separates this revenge story apart from all others, in that Sweeney exacts his violent mission of payback against…well, whoever happened to walk into his barber shop. Countless people, who had nothing to do with him or his past, die senseless deaths. That, I believe, is the film’s entire point though: the dangerous thing about vengeance is that it promises justice and redemption for its host, but only results in destroying its host. Vengeance is a lie.

Perhaps the biggest heartache of all, was that even when Sweeney received news that his daughter was still alive and needed rescue, he did not drop his scheme of retribution to save her. It would’ve been so easy to salvage a life with her and find redemption in her love, but Sweeney had been so deformed by a hateful act, that he could no longer embrace anything good. This tragic blindness not only ensured he could never recapture happiness, but it almost destroyed every remaining person he ever cared for.

Tim Burton has a real love for the “redemptive misfit”, as a friend of mine once observed. It quickly became apparent in this story though, that this time there would be no redemption. When the songs are sung, the slicing is over with, and the story is spent, we are shown a man who got what he wanted. The results of which are so ugly, so horrific, and so wasteful that viewers cannot help but take the closing frame with them as a timeless warning.

____________

I chose not to speak to the nuts and bolts of the film this time, but I’ll just briefly say that as a spectacle, the movie was a total success. Sweeney Todd was always engrossing. I don’t remember thinking to myself even once, “man, I wish this scene was over”, as every scene was interesting to watch.

The music was good, but not great, as musicals go. There was no “defining song”, nothing that stood out as something you’d wanna sing along with your friends if you listened to the score at home. For what the music was though, it was executed well. Even the musical’s original composer said that it was the single best recording of his songs ever done. As many of you know, Sweeney Todd has received several Academy nods, one of them being yet another nomination for Mr. Depp. Even though he ultimately didn't win the award though, he deserved the attention: it was a convincing performance. Here I’ll cautiously say that if you can stomach a dark, cruel world full of bloody carnage without remorse, this film is worth your time.

_________________

Next time, per reader requests, I'll try to post some pictures of my new nephew Tristan.  I've finally gotten some, so I'll see if I can make this thing work.  Ok, as much as I love writing, this chocolate stout I'm currently drinking is calling my name.  So for now, adieu.